Evolution of a fall leaf...

Looking at TDC before delving in, the dancers consisted of a strong bunch of women. Molly Grimm-Leasure, Maggie Koller, Alaina Murray, Summer Breal, Olivia May, Molly Perez, Kaitlin Bishop, and Jessica Post stood out to me. When I thought of TDC, I thought of these girls. They were my inspiration as they maneuvered bodies through space, leaped, shifted, and made the stage breathe. I never imagined I’d have a chance in the world to be a part of such a talented group who work so well together. And little did I know that I'd have the opportunity, and honor, to dance with them for years to come.

Photo by William Frederking

Shannon McGuire-Edwards and I came in as apprentices in 2009. Shannon and I took a few classes during our college years and became friends, so it was nice to have a familiar face to experience a dynamic change with. We stuck together, created phrases, wore similar outfits to rehearsal (and still do) and redeemed our dual nickname - the fall leaves.  I still can’t believe it’s our fourth season together.

Since then, TDC has been a perpetual constant in my life. There have been so many changes in my personal life, as others in the company, we’ve become a support system as well as an outlet. No matter how bad my day was and sometimes when motivation is lacking in my body, these girls always make me smile. And dancing… well, it’s always just a great reminder of what truly makes me happy, and there’s never a day that goes by that I’m not thankful that I’ve been given the opportunity to be able to do what I love.

Throughout the years, there have been several shifts in the company. Things change, people’s lives change, and we’ve had to say goodbye to several members along the way, a few of whom have danced the longevity of the company. Last season, we had to hold back tears as Molly Grimm-Leasure and Alaina Murray retired their bare feet off the dance floor. Current senior members consist of Maggie Koller and Olivia May. Shannon and I are next in line. Sometimes I can’t believe it because of my initial idea of the company consisting of the strong group of women I had mentioned earlier. To be honest, I still consider them as part of the group. They’ll always be TDC in my eyes, no matter how it shifts and changes. We have an amazing group of women right now and I couldn’t be more thrilled. Margi always says she’s so upset that we don’t get along. :-)   It’s pretty impressive that a group of 8 women can actually get along so well. She always says that she has to create a pallet for TDC, and I’m glad she sees me fitting into the mix.

Margi’s dancers typically dedicate several years at a time, which allows for the partnering and the movement vocabulary to be rich and full. It’s great to build and keep that trust, permitting us to rely on each other. We put in 6.5 to 10.5 hours in each week, I’d say 9 months out of the year (not including show weeks). We work hard, but we also enjoy ourselves. We’re all here solely for our love of dance, to be creative, to perform, and we’re grateful to have Margi Cole as our fearless leader.

TDC is like my second family and I don’t know how I could ever live without these girls in my life, continuously creating friendships and bonds that I couldn’t have found anywhere else. I truly think it keeps me sane during my work week. I embrace it every time I stand in front of the mirror during floor exercises or warm up. I’m not sure where my life will take me, so I’m embracing every dreadful développé, soaking up every swish, and embodying movement that becomes part of history, and turns into memories.

Submitted by TDC Dancer Katie Petrunich on Monday, March 18, 2013

Sidelined

So here we are.  After 7 years of dancing with TDC, the 4 years prior spent dancing in college, and the 14 years prior spent dancing in Greenwood, Indiana, it’s pretty self-evident that life has taken some serious turns, some of them unexpected but all of them fulfilling.

And now life has given me another unexpected turn and I find myself in yet another unfamiliar phase in my long-term relationship with dance: on the sidelines. Still at rehearsal, but not necessarily in rehearsal, witnessing the creative process instead of participating in it. It’s a fascinating and disconcerting position to be in. While watching my fellow dancers work, even now, only a month removed from creating material myself, I get lost in what they are doing and creating, watching them work as I would watch a dance concert, with enjoyment and a complete lack of understanding of how hard each dancer is working. Watching the process I was just recently a part of, it is remarkably startling how immediately lost that sense of work, frustration, and struggle is.

This year’s new work offers particular challenges in the way Margi has gone about structuring the creative process – structuring it as such that there is no structure as to what a dancer can do, but only addressing what they CANNOT.  Rather than having a list of qualities, actions, moments, to include, dancers only have a list of what they cannot do – navigating the movement invention period with each other through individual “blind spots” if you will. Again, fascinating to watch, particularly the movement, duets, and group phrases that have been created, but upon flopping down on the floor at 10pm, I see complete exhaustion on the dancers’ faces. Not just physical exhaustion, but mental – mentally drained and spent.

Regardless of how awkward and tense the dancers say they feel in these awkward and tense relationships they are creating, they are delving into areas of self and creativity that I have not yet been witness to in my time in TDC. In my observation, it’s not without some twinges of jealousy that I am not a part of this process with them, but then again, I would also be missing the bigger picture of creativity, instead, stuck in my own frustration and exhaustion at the process.

Which is better? Jury’s still out. I never anticipated myself just sitting on the sidelines in my dance career, but I must say throughout my life, it is those situations I least anticipated that I learned the most. 

Submitted by TDC Dancer Kaitlin Bishop on Monday, November 5, 2012. 

TDC starts work on restaging 13

It’s official. I have now been in TDC long enough to be reconstructing a piece in which I was an originating dancer. YOWZERS!

This week, TDC starts work on restaging “13,” a 30-minute piece created and premiered four years ago during TDC’s 13^th season. It’s an interesting experience, to go back in time, watch work I created in a previous life, and try to understand the decisions made and inspirations used. It makes me reflect on the passage of time, and how, while four years may not seem like too long ago, it was actually a lifetime ago. I lived in a different home, I was not married, I had a different job, I moved differently, I lived differently. I was different. To watch myself dance from so long ago, I might as well be watching a total stranger. Fascinating!

Another difficult aspect of reconstructing work I had a hand in creating vs. reconstructing work I did NOT create is readjusting expectations of the experience. It can be very easy, when resetting previous work, to expect things to feel the same – lifts should feel the same, contact with other dancers should be the same, the timing should be the same, EVERYTHING SHOULD BE THE SAME!!!!

100% of the time however, it’s not. It’s impossible. For “13,” there are two returning original dancers. There is literally no way this piece will even remotely resemble its original version, as the dancers inhabiting the space are completely different people. Different bodies, different minds, different perceptions. Everything, and I mean, EVERYTHING IS DIFFERENT. Which is really hard. It can be so difficult to let go of those experiences, those sensations, those journeys. When a dancer feels a sense of ownership over the material of a work, it can be such a frustrating experience to let that go – but that is what we have to do. Otherwise, reconstructing work is the equivalent of pulling teeth. It sucks. 

So here we are. Starting a new journey I’ve travelled before. What keeps this fresh though is the fact that I am a new person, and this time around, this journey will resonate within me in completely new ways, leading to new movement invention, new partnerships, and new experiences.  This, in and of itself, is just one more of the many things that makes modern dance so engrossing and engaging, performance after performance, piece after piece, year after year. Even old work feels new, and old experiences become new journeys. 

Submitted by TDC Dancer Kaitlin Bishop on Wednesday, October 31, 2012.

“It was great! But what did it mean? “

When it comes to a modern dance performance, whether it’s my own, a friend’s, a national or international company, 75% of the time, the above statement and question can be overheard in the lobby, usually said by one of my family members, but not always. Admittedly, sometimes those words escape my mouth. 

With my dance background and history in mind, a modern dance company in downtown Chicago is a bit of a far cry from where I started. Having grown up dancing in one of central Indiana’s primary studios, ballet, jazz, tap, and other such things were my specialties to the extent that I rarely actually thought about what I was doing, I could just do it. “Modern” dance was something in which people danced barefoot and flexed their feet a lot, which is another way of saying I knew absolutely NOTHING about modern dance. In high school, I knew my future lay in the dance field, not really knowing what or where that meant, but with dreams of LA or New York in my head, my parents were steadfast in their resolve: Kaitlin can do whatever she wants…..as long as she goes to college. Which led me to the Dance Center of Columbia College Chicago and four years of classes, rehearsals, performances, lectures, master classes and then some, attempting to grasp that ever elusive answer to the all pervasive question, “What does it mean?” After four years and a degree in Dance, more often than not, I was still that person in the lobby after the performance thinking to myself, “It was great. But what did it mean?”

Immediately after graduating, I was blessed to have the opportunity to audition for The Dance COLEctive, which I’d seen perform only once, but had participated in a number of student works wherein Margi Cole was the Faculty Advisor. I found her feedback and guidance in those times as challenging but engaging, requiring me to think critically, which was definitely something new for me. I was interested because I was scared and I knew I would be directly responsible for the work I would create, rather than learning someone else’s ideas. If there’s something to be said for only learning the choreography that comes from someone else’s body, even the most intricate and satisfying of movements, it grows to be boring. It becomes boring because it’s not my idea that inspires it, it’s not my choice that dictates it, and it’s not my mind that analyzes and molds it.

That’s the beautiful thing about modern dance and The Dance COLEctive. I get to make choices that are reflective of me. I’m IN the work. Not just performing it. Rather than counting off 5,6,7,8 and doing a series of steps in perfect unison with 10 other dancers, audiences are able to watch 10 people on stage, existing, in space. Making choices, interacting with each other, LIVING. That’s pretty cool, if you ask me. And it’s what keeps me coming back, year after year, watching and being a part of modern dance. My experiences in The Dance COLEctive continue to influence my values in dance, both as a dancer and an audience member, to the point that as time continues, I find myself, after performances, asking “What did it mean to me?”

Which is kind of the whole point of modern dance to begin with, I’m starting to realize. 

Submitted by TDC Dancer Kaitlin Bishop on Sunday, October 21, 2012.