“It was great! But what did it mean? “

When it comes to a modern dance performance, whether it’s my own, a friend’s, a national or international company, 75% of the time, the above statement and question can be overheard in the lobby, usually said by one of my family members, but not always. Admittedly, sometimes those words escape my mouth. 

With my dance background and history in mind, a modern dance company in downtown Chicago is a bit of a far cry from where I started. Having grown up dancing in one of central Indiana’s primary studios, ballet, jazz, tap, and other such things were my specialties to the extent that I rarely actually thought about what I was doing, I could just do it. “Modern” dance was something in which people danced barefoot and flexed their feet a lot, which is another way of saying I knew absolutely NOTHING about modern dance. In high school, I knew my future lay in the dance field, not really knowing what or where that meant, but with dreams of LA or New York in my head, my parents were steadfast in their resolve: Kaitlin can do whatever she wants…..as long as she goes to college. Which led me to the Dance Center of Columbia College Chicago and four years of classes, rehearsals, performances, lectures, master classes and then some, attempting to grasp that ever elusive answer to the all pervasive question, “What does it mean?” After four years and a degree in Dance, more often than not, I was still that person in the lobby after the performance thinking to myself, “It was great. But what did it mean?”

Immediately after graduating, I was blessed to have the opportunity to audition for The Dance COLEctive, which I’d seen perform only once, but had participated in a number of student works wherein Margi Cole was the Faculty Advisor. I found her feedback and guidance in those times as challenging but engaging, requiring me to think critically, which was definitely something new for me. I was interested because I was scared and I knew I would be directly responsible for the work I would create, rather than learning someone else’s ideas. If there’s something to be said for only learning the choreography that comes from someone else’s body, even the most intricate and satisfying of movements, it grows to be boring. It becomes boring because it’s not my idea that inspires it, it’s not my choice that dictates it, and it’s not my mind that analyzes and molds it.

That’s the beautiful thing about modern dance and The Dance COLEctive. I get to make choices that are reflective of me. I’m IN the work. Not just performing it. Rather than counting off 5,6,7,8 and doing a series of steps in perfect unison with 10 other dancers, audiences are able to watch 10 people on stage, existing, in space. Making choices, interacting with each other, LIVING. That’s pretty cool, if you ask me. And it’s what keeps me coming back, year after year, watching and being a part of modern dance. My experiences in The Dance COLEctive continue to influence my values in dance, both as a dancer and an audience member, to the point that as time continues, I find myself, after performances, asking “What did it mean to me?”

Which is kind of the whole point of modern dance to begin with, I’m starting to realize. 

Submitted by TDC Dancer Kaitlin Bishop on Sunday, October 21, 2012.