Then I began to remember...

I've never really felt as old as I am, even when I was younger. 18 years old felt more like 15 and at 21 I DEFINITELY didn't feel legal. So when I was asked to write about what it feels like to be "the most senior member" of TDC, My first thought was "Well it feels just like the first year..."

Photo by William Frederking

Then I began to remember.

How scared I was. How nervous I had been about my technique EVERY rehearsal. How many jobs I worked just to be able to eek out a living so that I could spend another month in Chicago able to dance with TDC. How I could stroll into rehearsal after a full day and dance my butt of without thinking about it, then wake up the next morning feeling like a million bucks. How my feet didn't hurt, and my knees didn't crack with every plie or lunge I performed. How long I spent on the CTA, EVERYDAY. How the girls that I was dancing with were some of the funniest, smartest, most loving people I had met and how they made my transition to living in the city and joining the company smoother. What I remember and forget all at the same time is how quickly I have twirled my way through 7 seasons, all because time flies when you're with people you enjoy being around. Being the most senior member now I hope that my presence does for our newer members what the oldie goldie girls I danced with back in 2008, did for me. They created an inviting and accepting environment, full of creative energy and support, laughter and advice and they are still a HUGE part of my life today. When I look back on my time dancing with TDC and in the Chicago dance community I know I will remember the performances and projects I have been a part of but more than that, I will know the people I shared those experiences with helped shape who I am today both as a dancer and an "adult". No matter if I feel like one or not. 

Submitted by TDC Dancer Olivia May on Wednesday, March 25, 2015.